I should've been happy ... #2

On the 1st June 2018, Lofthouse Equestrian, had officially been open, in a bricks and mortar shop, for 12 months. It was our very first birthday! I should've been all geared up and ready to celebrate, but I wasn't. Let me explain.

Lofthouse Equestrian Boutique

Some of my lack of enthusiasm was due to being tired. I know, pants excuse but it had been a super stressful week on the lead up to our birthday and due to a number of factors I was working on approximately 5 hours sleep a night. Yes, I know, to some that probably seems alot but I honestly cannot function unless I get decent sleep. That 5 hours was also broken as I was waking, what felt like every two minutes, and my brain would switch on. Before I knew it I was thinking about stain removing sprays and haynets. Not ideal.

I was also scared. I should've been so happy we made it one whole year, especially when there are much bigger, established stores that are closing down all the time. I'm currently listening to House of Frazer, on the news, announcing closing alot of its stores. So I count myself very lucky and I'm so grateful that we have managed to survive, so far, in this climate.

However, I'm now starting to feel the pressure. I kind of feel like I've been playing at it for 12 months and now it's time to prove our worth and put into practice all that we have learnt (by 'we' I mean myself and my husband). So I think I'm a little scared that we might fail if I do. I know it probably doesn't make any sense but I've all of a sudden started to feel very anxious and overwhelmed about everything. Even though nothing has really changed. So I think it's the only thing I can put it down to.

We held a birthday bash at the shop on Friday 1st. I kind of feel like I wasted that opportunity, massively. I wanted to mark the occasion with something so I bought cake and Prosecco and threw a small party with some offers in the shop. Yet again, that little voice in my head appeared that said, what if no one comes? What if no one cares? What if a couple of people come and that's it? Will it look empty? My pessimistic outlook meant I didn't push the advertising of the birthday bash, at all. I think deep down I thought, if no one comes it will be because I didn't advertise it well, rather than because we are rubbish!

motivational quote on failure

The bash actually went down really well and we had some great, loyal, customers who turned up. I kick myself now, because had I not been so scared of it failing I probably would've pushed it more. So all in all, I've learned a huge lesson. It will fail, if you don't try. Let's face it my biggest fear, is failure right now so I'm not exactly setting myself up for success if I keep failing to try.

Sam x

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