How to give your horse a wormer!

Check our handy guide of how to give your horse a wormer:

How to give your horse a wormer

  • To begin, pick up syringe and approach stable in a calm and relaxed manner. Open stable door and utter polite words such as 'Hello my lovely, who's a good boy'. Remove cap from syringe, insert into corner of mouth and attempt to depress plunger. Allow horse to swallow paste.
  • Next, retrieve syringe from floor, back away from beast and decide it's best to place a head collar on before next try. Once head collar in place attempt again.
  • Ah... erm... retrieve syringe from floor again, pick off shavings stuck to end. Use cloth to wipe off paste from down front of waistcoat. Remove waistcoat for fear of over-heating. Decide it may be best to resort to bridle.
  • Attempt again now bridle is on. Perhaps stand on steps to assist with reach as horse now resembles giraffe.
  • Shout for help from friendly stable mate, who has no idea what they're getting into by helping whilst you plunge hand into water bucket to fish out syringe. Check label to ensure trip to A & E is not necessary as you've just ingested more than horse.
  • Decide there is no longer enough paste in the tube for correct dose of wormer, quickly drive to shop and spend small fortune on another wormer (actually make that two).
  • Arrive back at yard to find horse happily drinking water and wonder if wormer will still work if watered down in bucket?
  • Take hold of new syringe and feel an air of positivity as you convince yourself this will work. Enter stable but quickly back away as horse turns backside and looks menacing.
  • Reluctantly make up feed bucket, even though the ungrateful sod doesn't deserve one, add contents of syringe then use 2 litres of molasses to help disguise taste.
  • Return to yard following morning to find contents of bucket in bedding and stuck to horses coat. No evidence anywhere near mouth. Locate actual bucket in next door's stable.
  • Bath horse as treacle is oddly just where the saddle should fit? Remind self not to sell horse as, if anything, at least he is pretty to look at.
  • Consider asking vet for granules but decide you will give this one last go!
  • Ask spouse to take you to A & E as you now have crushing injuries and can barely breathe.
  • Go straight back to yard after A & E diagnose four broken ribs, heavy bruising and a pulled tendon in arm after fighting a half ton beast. Consider asking a friend to try giving wormer but remember you do not have public liability insurance yet. Consider sorting this.
  • Go home after feeding horse normal bucket. Write 'For Sale' ad for Facebook but then delete this as you remember one good day in the past 7 years.
  • Consume enough alcohol to sink a small vessel, consider trying again tomorrow whilst also wondering why you ever bothered with horses in the first place! 

Prosecco and glass